Monday, October 12, 2009

Does Trust Carry a High Risk?

So far we've seen trust as the mortar that holds together the wall that is built from the brick of commitment, and that this building takes time if we expect it to stand firm amid the trials and burdens that the wall must endure. Today I want us to look at the risks involved in trusting, and just how our example of the wall demonstrates that those risks are well worth taking.

We must extend our trust for there to be any chance of REALationships in our lives. There is always risk involved when we make ourselves available to others. How much risk we are willing to take determines the level of personal interaction and benefit that can be enjoyed between people.

I am someone that lives in such a way that I tend to extend my trust more freely than many others. I also normally trust more and deeper than many who are resistant to so freely giving their trust away. Yes I do and have been hurt when I trust so freely, but I cannot imagine living any other way. I can certainly understand the hesitance of those who have been greatly hurt by betrayal, and am not in any way minimizing their pain or belittling them for their decision. Maybe I get over things quicker; maybe my carefree attitude lends itself to not being so deeply affected by betrayal.

Not that I have never been deeply hurt by seeing my trust spat upon and cast into the gutter. I have. On more than one occasion. To go on extending my trust so freely could be seen by some as being too cavalier, too naive; too TRUSTING.

That is exactly the point. Even with the risk involved, and the memories of trust betrayals (some still fresh), I continue to extend my trust.

Why? I want to find those who I can trust, who I can develop REALationships with, and until I extend my trust I will have great difficulty developing those friendships. Actually, I have found that in many cases if I do not extend trust first it never will be extended to me.

So I go on building my wall with all who will join me in the task. I offer to many my brick and mortar, and invite them to provide theirs for the task as well. Some jump right in immediately; some observe for a while until they see that this wall is steady and worth building together; some are merely bystanders, intrigued by what they see but having no interest in taking the risk by joining in the task.

To me, all of this is part of life. An old adage from the drywall finishing business is that "you throw a bunch of mud on the wall and work with what sticks". I guess in a way that is what I do and am advocating you try as well.

Sure, there will be times you will be taken advantage of, and certainly hurt. I am. Go on building the wall anyway, inviting whom you will, working with those who join you in the task regardless of where you are in building the wall.

Let the bystanders merely watch if that is their desire. They are the ones missing out on the joy and camaraderie of accomplishing something wonderful: the mutual building of a wall of trust and commitment!

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