Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Building of Trust

As stated in my last post, trust is built, not granted. Yes, a certain level of trust must be granted initially, but for trust to grow it must be earned. This leads us to understand that trust building is a partnership, not an individual endeavor. We build trust by giving trust to someone. We expect there to be a level of reciprocation, so that we can know that the one we are trusting understands how trust works.

Trust is something we freely give, not something we are compelled to give.

When we establish relationships with others, we are moving our lives into a parallel path with their own. We do so with the goal in mind of having someone that walks through life with us, that we can also walk through life with. This is the benefit of REALationships: having someone that can pick us up when we're down; encourage us when we want to quit; even carry us when we're too weak to make it on our own. Someone that we can gladly do these things for as well. Those are the people we extend more and greater trust to. They have proven worthy of our trust.

We happily place brick upon brick of commitment in the wall of the life we live with them, using the mortar of trust to build higher, wider, and stronger walls of relationship. The brick we use is supplied by both of us; the mortar blended from the mutual trust extended between those with whom the relationship is being built.

This is the joy of living: having someone to commit to who commits to us.

So what happens when only our brick is being used? When only we are supplying the mortar? When we find out that we have been building the wall with our commitment and trust, yet the other party has been holding back, taking advantage of us by letting us invest all the material and labor while making no effort themselves?

No brick wall can be built without brick and mortar. To build a wall effectively and efficiently takes partnership. At times we lay the brick, at times we mix the mortar, but we work together in building the wall.

This is why we need not trust those who, through their attitudes and actions, prove that they do not trust us. We give our trust to those we deem worthy of it. When someone shows us that they are not trustworthy, then we should not trust them, or commit to them. It is as simple as that.

Our trust is given. It is granted to people that show us...SHOW us...that they are committed to and trust us, just as we commit to and trust in them, by building this wall together with us.

Remember, we freely give the labor, brick, and mortar. No one takes it from us without our permission.

We need not be, and shouldn't be, the only one furnishing the labor and materials for the wall.

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